Blog-mistress and Goddess of Patience, Kaui Lucas, and I are at Prima, the terrific new restaurant in Kailua, celebrating the success of the day before— when we worked with John LeBlanc and watched him make magic on my new Word Press blog. I am more excited than Kaui. “Listen to this,” I say. “When I got home last night I realized we forgot to put blah blah blah on the blah blah, and now it’s published and anyone who tries to register to receive the blog is going to be told to go somewhere that doesn’t exist— so I’m going crazy, and John has left for that big music thing in San Antonio. . . “
“Oh god,” Kaui yelps.
“But listen!” I am exuberant. “I did it myself!”
“I did. First I couldn’t even get the bloody thing to open. But then I came back and I fooled around, tried this and that. . . and I fixed one problem, and it felt so good I was able to fix the other!”
Kaui is amazed. She had been taking notes while John worked, but I was dazed after the first ten minutes and didn’t appear to learn anything. “How did you do it?” she asked.
“I couldn’t figure it out, then I realized it’s just like seeing auras. If you want to learn how to see auras you hang around with someone who can, you sit close, and pretty soon you can do it. It’s how you learn to sex chicken eggs, too.”
“Forget about the chicken eggs. I think I learned how to do it from being in John’s field energy. . . ”
“You mean that if I sit next to you when you’re seeing auras I’ll be able to see them?”
“Sure. . . . maybe. I don’t see auras very often actually, and when I do I become so ecstatic that I can’t do much else. The problem is if you think, even for a second, oh man, I’m seeing someone’s aura!— it disappears. Wrong side of the brain kicks in. . . . except once. . . once I was seeing auras and it just got better and better. . . .” Kaui’s waiting expectantly.
“It was in London. . . late 70’s maybe, and I was taking a three-day enlightenment intensive from my friend, Jeffrey Love. Second day of it . . . I was already pretty loaded, expanded, whatever, and we were doing a walking mediation. I was walking down some sidewalk in an old neighborhood on the outskirts of London, summer, grey, dank, as usual, and then I looked in someone’s garden. I thought the sun had come out and was shining through some brilliant stained glass window, illuminating a rosebush, a rosebush in full bloom which was surrounded by the most gorgeous color, so I kept looking around for the window. . . then I realized I was seeing the rosebush’s aura! Glorious. And I kept seeing it. So overwhelmingly beautiful!
So I went on to another garden. I wanted to see auras around more flowers, but the next garden had a high fence around it. Then I noticed a knothole a little less than a foot above the ground, so I bent down to look through it. No flowers. But when I stood up something happened— something so delicious that I could barely stand it. . . it filled me with such ecstasy. I couldn’t tell what it was, but I wanted to feel it again, so I bent over and looked through the knothole, stood up, and it happened again! Rapture. I kept leaning down, looking, standing up. . . oh god, orgasmic energy filling my entire body, over and over again. Then I realized what it was. . .
Kaui wants to feel it, too. I go on. “I was wearing some old blue striped overalls and a t-shirt, no bra. So every time I bent over my breasts would fall forward. When I stood back up they would fall slowly back on my chest. That was it. My breasts slowly falling back on my chest.
“THAT was it?”
“Yep. So I just kept slowly bending over and then slooooowly standing up, gasping and moaning with pleasure. . . until somebody noticed me— so they went in and got Jeffrey who came outside and brought me back in.”
“Were you enlightened?”
“Probably not. I’ve tried it a few times since, without the fence and the knothole, but it hasn’t worked. It’s kind of like that with auras. You just never know until it happens.”